Some things are just too hard to comprehend. As much as you try and empathise, sometimes it’s simply impossible to ‘connect’ with a thought, a concept or an object because it is just too alien. It doesn’t mean to say that such a thing is ‘wrong’ or bad, it’s just from another world.

Alcohol-free beer is one such thing for me. If I want a beer then I want a beer. If I don’t then I want an orange juice or a rock shandy with extra bitters – anything which tastes good, rehydrates properly and/or has some nutritional value. But I have absolutely nothing against those who do drink alcohol-free beer. I just don’t get it.

Another thing which beats me is choosing to carry your own golf clubs for 18 holes here in South Africa. Fair enough on other continents where pull trolleys aren’t for hire and there are no caddies, but here? For goodness sake – give your back a rest! (I played against ICC match referee Chris Broad the day before the Newlands one-dayer and he carried his clubs! He said golf was the only exercise he got these days so he wanted to maximise his workout… What!?)

Also, I cannot fathom why more people don’t make chips like I do. Simply cut the raw potato into chip shapes, spray with an olive oil ‘mister’, sprinkle with Trocomare (much better than salt) and pop them into the over on a tray of baking paper for an hour at 200 degrees. Easy. No deep frier required, no worries with oil catching on fire and no worries about calories. We can have chips every night!

Recently, there have been even more things added to my ‘no comprendo’ list. Why would a chief executive of a major national company show absolutely no contrition or regret after being caught illicitly paying himself a mighty bonus without consulting (or even just informing) the committee appointed to oversee such payments? I guess some people just find it impossible to say ‘sorry’. I’ve never understood that.

And why would a provincial president turn his back on 30 years of friendship with the CSA president and sign a letter of no confidence in him – just because he’s been told that he will, soon enough, become president himself? Forsaking three decades of comradeship for the promise of the CSA presidency which will last two years, maybe four. Why would anyone do that? It must be that old saying about power and the way it corrupts people. I’ve never understood that.

Finally, one more thing. If a major corporation or business needs a new chief executive, and they want the best, do they ask all the top contenders to send their CVs in and then call them in for an interview? No, they identify their lady or man and then carefully head-hunt them. CSA is appointing a new head coach after the World Cup, not the manager of a Steers franchise. There aren’t too many men qualified and available. The list is already very short. Asking them to send in their resume and go through an application process will make it even shorter because of the best of the best won’t bother.